Peeking Through

There’s a hole in the trees above my house
You can lie on your back in the front yard
And look up at the sky through this portal of green….

Or in the fall,
the portal frame turns to burnt reds,
rusty oranges
golden yellows
Like a fireworks show
Put on by nature…

This is where you and I would lie on our backs
after doing yoga…
And watch our thoughts
Like birds darting in and out of the branches
As the yoga teacher on the CD instructed…
Watch your thoughts like birds in flight

Here then gone…

Like you… a beautiful child
Here then gone…
Like the birds darting in and out of trees…
But so very real… with such substance

I think about my thoughts, now
How heavy they are…
About lying in the yard and detaching from them
And watching them float away like the birds or the clouds…
But, they are wrapped around my heart
Like you used to wrap yourself around me
when you were a child…

You would wrap yourself around me
And cling so tightly…
I couldn’t detach you from me if I wanted
And I didn’t want
Not then or now
They are anchored to me
A part

Not at all like a bird darting in and out of anywhere

My thoughts of you are not some flitting thing
darting about without substance
They are something
You were my child
They are memories of you
Sweet, melodic memories
Like a lullaby…..
Like a cradle
Soothing as it rocks

Even though the tears come…
They warm.
They are comfort…
They rock me with their gentleness

They are a release…
A release into something real,
Something substantial

But still, there is this hole in the sky
Where the trees open up
If you lie on your back in our front yard as we used to….
you can watch the birds darting from branch to branch
And the clouds slowly passing by

You can hear the birds sing too….
Singing as they fly
From one branch to the other…..
As if nothing mattered but their song…

Nature has a way of being so honest…
Songs of joy,
Songs of sorrow,
Screeches from the of pain or death

I think you were always like the birds
Always signing your song…
Like the fireworks of nature…

It was me that didn’t get it.

Perhaps if I lay here long enough
Staring into our portal in the sky
It will become a door…

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. A // W // F says:

    I’m truly glad I found your blog … I mean that!! 🙂

    1. Thanks, I’ve really enjoyed your blog as well.

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