“I want you to knock me out. I need you to knock me out.” ~ Grief and Benzos

~My daughter had just died, instantly, of head trauma received in a car accident at 15 years of age. It was a beautiful afternoon in July. She died within 40 seconds of sitting down in the passenger seat of her boyfriend’s car and fastening her seat-belt. The news hit social media before officials could contact me. Facebook was…

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The Bloom and the Seed

The first frost warning has passed And still our flowers bloom The ones we planted together Purple and yellow and pink… Deep green foliage Mingled with white baby’s breath… Pale pink honeysuckle and purple Lilacs and Rhododendron. The flowers that we planted Years ago… Before, Before it all changed They are still open Oblivious to…

“Mourning” Has Broken — Waking Up From Grief

A few months after my 15 year old daughter died in a tragic car accident, I slipped into a routine of staying up until almost sunrise or later, and sleeping most of the day away.  I wasn’t working at the time (bereavement leave) and lived entirely alone in a rural Appalachian area. In my mind, it…

Swimming Forward… After

I have survived tragic and horrific loss, and yet I feel joy . I am a mother who lost her 15 year old daughter to a tragic car accident,  who is only now, after four years, living again. That is what this blog is about, feeling joy again. This blog is not about the trauma and the…