Going Wild

The older I get, the more I curl into nature, like a song bird in the hollow of a tree, feeling every gust of wind, yet always prepared to avert danger.  It’s as if I’m already becoming part of the earth, in spirit, if not, in fact.  Yet, I’m not decomposing.  It’s quite the opposite;…

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Thyme Alone on the Hill

It’s 24 degrees outside. The snow is falling, and I have meatball and chicken broth soup slow cooking in my little country home. I can smell the onions and garlic, the carrots and celery, the chicken broth and thyme. I’m totally alone, and I’m happy. I have a beer in my hand, a cigarette burning…

Need and Meaning in the Time of Thanks

The leaves have fallen and their musty scent lifts up from the woods around the house and drapes itself around me like a shawl. The beautiful red maple leaves lie dormant on the forest lawn along side the oaks and birch and lowly locust. Their decay, although colorful and dramatic, usually takes me down a path to a past…

The Insatiable Wind

The storm churned up the all this debris The wind was inconsolable Its appetite… Insatiable In its aftermath… Limbs of trees Leaves strewn across the yard Screen doors torn from their hinges Whole trees lying horizontal Nature spit about like vomit… With hundreds of years of history Exposed Dead and unresponsive Dried up, like the…

The Bloom and the Seed

The first frost warning has passed And still our flowers bloom The ones we planted together Purple and yellow and pink… Deep green foliage Mingled with white baby’s breath… Pale pink honeysuckle and purple Lilacs and Rhododendron. The flowers that we planted Years ago… Before, Before it all changed They are still open Oblivious to…

“Mourning” Has Broken — Waking Up From Grief

A few months after my 15 year old daughter died in a tragic car accident, I slipped into a routine of staying up until almost sunrise or later, and sleeping most of the day away.  I wasn’t working at the time (bereavement leave) and lived entirely alone in a rural Appalachian area. In my mind, it…

Swimming Forward… After

I have survived tragic and horrific loss, and yet I feel joy . I am a mother who lost her 15 year old daughter to a tragic car accident,  who is only now, after four years, living again. That is what this blog is about, feeling joy again. This blog is not about the trauma and the…